How to kill a LION

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

How to kill a lion By Companies...

Don't Miss the last one...


Cognizant Method:

Hire a lion... ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do.
give him gobi 65 to eat again and again.
hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit
give them same gobi 65 to eat
hire 200 more....... and more .! ......

TCS method:

Hire a lion
give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary
lion dies of hunger and frustration

Kanbay Method:

Hire a Cat; give him a salary of a Lion...
Give him work of 3 Lions
Tell him to work late and even on weekends...
No time for food and family, automatically die

IBM's metbod:

Hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour ...he dies of unemployment. ..

Syntel Method:-

Hire a Cat ...
assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches on site and
make sure that he never reaches on site.
Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion....

MBT method:

Hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't score 60% he will lose the job.
lion dies of the strain?

i-Flex method:

Hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari
for implementing flex cube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes
alive he will get band movement (promotion)
holy cow dies in fear of the real lion

COSL Method:

Hire a lion .
tell him to merge with Goats (Polaris) and reduce his allowance...
lion dies from fear that tomorrow he might become a goat....

Polaris Method :

Hire ..sorry....purchase a lion(COSL) ..
change his timings...(instead of 9 AM ...change it to 8:30 AM )
cut down his allowance (coupons etc)
lion dies from fear of becoming CAT.....

Patni method:

hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...
the lion dies before joining....

Wipro Method:

Hire a Lion,
give him a mail Id.
he will die receiving stupid mails all day........! !!!

Accenture Method:

Hire a lion....
Send him to Chennai
Ask him to stay on bench for a long time
Ask him to eat Idli,Dosa and Vada
No Hindi, Kannada or no other languages speaking people other than TAMIL...
No good food, No water..and specially No Beautiful girls
And say him "Go Ahead be a Tiger".
Lion dies in confusion he is Tiger or lion......


And Last But not the least

Infosys Method:

Hire a lion…

Put it in Luxurious Jungle of Mysore…

After getting posting the lion dies of boredom…..

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