Definitions

1.Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

3.Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

4.Divorce:Future tense of marriage

5.Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

6. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

7.Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

8.Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..

9.Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.

10.Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

11.Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

12.Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

13.Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

15.Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

16.Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

17.Committee:Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

18.Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

19.Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

20.Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

21.Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

22.Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

23.Optimist : A person who while falling from EiffelTowersays in midway "See I am not injured yet."

24.Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

25.Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

26.Father: A banker provided by nature.

27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

28.Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

29.Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

30.Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills!!