LOC(Lack of Confidence)

LOC is one term which has affected all of us one time or the other in our lives. Lack of confidence is what I mean.

We are born with a lot of confidence and we in some time to come turn out as people without confidence. There is a lot of research material available on this peculiar process. Many have asserted that they have found answers to this ailment if we can call it so and yet they in course of time behave exactly like the victims, as vulnerable and may be equally at a loss of wits. It was thought that a study of this interesting topic would be useful to the people who are either already lacking confidence or are on the verge of the same.

Let us go back to the childhood phase of our lives. Unless there is a congenital problem all children are very confident. They do things they have never done and come out almost always successful. As it is most things they do is the first time for them. They do not know that they can not do it. There is no fear of failure. So they go ahead and inadvertently they do a neat job. The parents shower lavish praise on their children even for very silly thing. They behave as if it is only their child who has spoken a few words or walked a few steps in ‘never before done in the history of the mankind mode’. The pampering though arguably required can have the other side. The message which is given to the child may not be proper with respect to the anticipated failures.

The child is enjoying a complete monopoly without any competition. The scene changes very soon when he is admitted to the school. From that moment his world changes, there is competition, comparison, performance and its logical or illogical appraisal. The whole coordinates change and for the first time in his life the child feels disoriented. The teachers may be are a help but mostly the child has to fight the battle single handedly. The beginning of LOC is rooted some where here and most of the children enter a new phase in the life. Time goes on; each new attempt at a new thing tried may have a success or a failure.

By the time he approaches the school leaving exams, he is aware about the various factors which may result in a possible failure such as favoritism, looks, gender, skills or lack of them, aptitudes with reference to math or English but not able to place him self in the matrix. Talking to friends or parents or teachers generally does not help unless the lad is good in explaining the problem faced by him. Further, the solutions suggested seem to be run of the mill and hence discarded. Like if you are not comfortable with ‘math’ the suggestion of doing more sums may not appeal to you. But that is exactly what is told. Like the boy in the recent film ‘Taare Zameen Par’ you start to withdraw from the world. It further complicates the matter. In the present scene where the class rooms are flooded with children very little can be done for such people. More over the schools which claim so many things usually lack a basic component: a patient and understanding teacher at the primary schools. Most teachers do not have inkling of what is expected of them. The argument of less salary, untenable working conditions, working in such a school till a better opportunity comes around or plainly a stop gap arrangement for avoiding boredom does not cut much ice. The child is at no fault and yet bears the brunt of frustrations of the so called educated adults. The force is so severe that the whole enthusiasm and any little hope in the child are literally bulldozed.

They say that one can start a new process easily but when a damaged process is to be straightened out, then further expect it produce results is very difficult. We know that a tremendous amount of energy is wasted in regaining the zero levels which were naturally available.

When such a sample is seen at the graduation level it gives a huge pain to all of us. We start to make fun, ridicule the lack of standards and conveniently forget that the student in question was a confident kid only a few years back. Every one wants to wash hands and expect a miracle which would convert the person in to a magnetic confident person. This does not happen. Then the whole blame game is played once more with more vigor and venom. Again it does not help the student.

The journey from the ‘lack of confidence’ to the ‘lot of confidence’ is a tedious one, often back breaking both for students and teachers.

The first thing the teacher has to stress is that such phenomenon is common. The teacher should remind the students that even if they feel that they lack in confidence they are doing so many right things. It also helps if the teacher has some readymade examples from the recent past. The technique of ‘what you are now and what you can become’ provided you do some basic things generally produces desirable results.

The second thing is to assign very simple tasks and monitor the results. If the students know that they can do some thing acceptable they tend to put in that bit little extra, which is the beginning of success. To bring the student to a ‘do mode’ works as magic. The level of the tasks can be later modified and aligned to what is expected of them. To teach to enjoy the success however small builds the confidence.

The level of knowledge as compared to others also has a potential to build confidence. Any additional knowledge always empowers. It also helps in developing plan “B” if one fails. When one knows that even if he initially fails he has a fail safe mechanism in the form of plan B he tends to be confident. Confidence, is about doing things right that too on a consistent basis.

Confidence is the function of practice. You do what you do not feel you can and you would start doing the same with poise. It is painful but then it is so.

The third thing that really helps the students is when the teacher tells them that he would love them despite their results. The assurance from the people who are near and dear to you that they would continue to love you is the biggest booster of confidence. So cherish such people and be thankful that you have some one where you can be a natural without any need of pretensions.