More One Liners............

Seven days without laughter makes one weak.
One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to the others
Believe in yourself.
Avoid negative people, places, things and habits.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Be yourself.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves.
FAILURE" is not the falling down, but the staying down.
God made only a number of perfect heads - the rest he covered with hair.
He who hesitates is probably a faster thinker than you.
If all the world is a stage, where does the audience sit?
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
If you are not working on the solution, you are part of the problem
If you think nobody cares about you - try missing a couple of payments!
In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
Isn't it scary how doctors call their work "practice"?
'Listen' has the same alphabets as 'silent'.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
Perplexity is the beginning of knowledge.
Seven days without laughter makes one weak.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
To vacillate or not to vacillate, that is the question.... ....or is it?
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
Support your right to bare arms. Wear short sleeves!
Whoever angers you, conquers you.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Don't take life too seriously: You'll never get out alive anyway.
He who laughs last probably made a back-up.
Give me ambiguity or whatever...
It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
I'm not a complete idiot: Some parts are missing.
Old Age is when action creaks louder than words.
Time is the best teacher. Unfortunately it kills all its students!
Very funny, Scotty... Now beam down my clothes!
Warning: Dates on Calendar are closer than they appear.
Too many clicks spoil the browse.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
To live forever, acquire a chronic disease and take care of it.
You can't have everything...where would you put it?
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
1 out of every 4 people is crazy. Check 3 friends, if they are OK, you're it.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Character is - the willingness to accept responsibility.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
It can be done!
If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts.
Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
Be loving to those who love you.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
Service is the rent we pay for the space we occupy on Earth.
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not sure.
Fax is stranger than fiction.
Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% of how you respond to it.
To handle yourself, use your head; To handle others, use your heart.
Hang on to your dreams.
Families are like fudge...mostly sweet with a few nuts.
The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.
If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he get the words from?
He, who laughs last, thinks slowest.
Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift.
His wife said, "Be an angel and let me drive."
Anger is only one letter short of danger.
Happy hour is a nap.
Quitters never win and winners never quit!
Why is the third hand of a watch called the second hand?
Nothing important was ever achieved without someone's taking a chance.
Trust in God but lock your car.
Life's most treasured moments often come unannounced.
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
Small is beautiful.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
Work backwards. First identify your objectives, then work towards it.
Why are Votes of Thank longer than the speeches?
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
When in doubt, don't.
Simplify your life.
Be generous to those who need your help.
Don't take things too seriously.
Four out of five people think the fifth is an idiot.
Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.
Life is not fair; get used to it.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
The days of good English has went.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets.
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
Freedom of the press means non-iron clothes.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
Never be too busy to meet someone new.
Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
Don't put limits on yourself.
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
Tax bachelors. Why should they be happier than others?
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
To mermaids wear algebras?
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.
Why is bra singular and panties plural?
Friendship is a wise investment.
Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
You'll make it through whatever comes along.
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?
Adolescence is the age when children try to bring up their parents.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
My best subject in school was spilling.
Help OTHERS win.
Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.